The Adventures of Benny in Slayerland
by LimeyMelodies
Summary: See "Chapter I" for rambling explanation.
1. Author's Rambling Explanation

So, I was sitting around, watching Slayers with my suitemate, Aly( … Who's KikutaMaster on here, btw. Go read her stuff… it's awesome… no, really…), and trying to think of something new for the Irish Carbomb, who's an exaggerated version of yours oddly. And, I had a thought (*gasp* I know), "How would the Slayers react to Benny? They're used to weird… but, not Benny weird. Benny's her own flippin' category, right?" And, so I thought the best character to find Benny would be poor Zelgadis. Amelia would annoy her, Benny would make her cry. Lina would try to scam her out of money; that she doesn't have; Benny would try to scam Lina out of food. Gourry wouldn't understand; Benny wouldn't understand Gourry. So, that left our self-proclaimed evil blue dude.

I pitched the idea to Cait (PsychoBunny) that I can see the jerk angels saying, "Hey, Benny's no use to use to us right now… we'll put her away for a while." I said, "You know, at first they'd put her somewhere, like Timbuktu, thinking that Benny would never find a way back. *But*, it's Benny… She finds a way and they're kind like, 'Okay, how about a different WORLD… that should work.' And, *that's* how she wound up in the Slayerverse."

Well, I hope you all enjoy this as long as I keep writing it. I actually know where I'm going with this. So, yay me.

I'll catch you all on the flip side.

~Badger/ Dana/ Benny/ Daddy/ Badgie-Bunns/ Sissy/ Twin/ "Caboose of our group"/ etceteras


	2. Chapter I

I woke up to a guy around my age, poking my. One thing was odd about him, he seemed to be made of blue stone and wire… but the most beautiful eyes. I groaned and muttered thick in accent, "Isn't this just grand…" I laughed lightly and muttered mostly to myself, "This is what I get for having one too many Jackies." I looked at him more intently this time and realized he was actually pretty good looking. I smiled and said, "I must be having one helluva hallucination."

The guy seemed unsure of what I said. No surprise since most don't get what an Irish accent is on most days. "Why is that?" he cautiously asked, obviously hoping he got what I said…

"Because," I started and then thinned out the brough and continued in a more American accent. "I finally get Tim Burton when he said, 'That person would look good blue.' Tell me, lad…"

He silently interrupted my as his cheeks grew purple and his pointy ears pulled down and back.

I whispered, "Oh, wow. You really are blue!"

He shook his head, leaned back and sat on his rump, one leg spread in front of him, the other bent, resting an arm on his knee. "This is what I get for doing my good deed of the day…." He continued on about how people shouldn't judge so harshly and quickly.

"So, do I have to beat some sense into you or are you actually gonna listen to me?" I asked in serious tone, sitting up, watching him with my golden eyes.

"What?" he asked. He seemed frustrated with having to ask what so many times.

"You're not used to having to listen to accents, are you, lad?"

"What's an accent?"

I blinked and pointed to my mouth, "This is an accent."

"Your mouth?" he asked, now really confused. His cheeks started purpling again.

"Mouth?" I asked. "No, not my gab, my voice, you eejit. Notice how I'm saying things in a different pattern?"

He nodded.

"That's an accent! Jezus, Mary, and Joseph… gah!" I said and then was the one who was grumbling to self.

He tilted his head and said calmly, "I think you need to be get looked at."

"Oh, hell no!" I declared and started crab-walking backwards away from him. "I'm not going to any hospital. I'll DIE before I go to another hospital!"

"Hospital?" he asked. _What the hell is a hospital? Better question, what happened to this woman?_

I smirked and asked in a slightly thicker accent, "You were at the end of the line when they were handing out intelligence, weren't you boy?"

Now, about anyone could tell that was an insult, even if they didn't understand what I said. "Excuse me?" he nearly screeched.

I smiled, "Why should I? I like to keep pretty things around… even if they're not too bright."

"I'm not an idiot," he growled.

I laughed and contorted, "Well, you've got me fooled. Tell me, oh pretty and 'wise' one. Wmye am I going?" I stood up, shaded my eyes against the sun, looking around. It was then he noticed my nails were a glossy black, I wore weird clothes both clung and avoided my body. Tmye were strange symbols on my clothing… and my body. My wrists wore thin black bracelets and I wore black versions of his gloves. He also noticed that it seemed as if someone unsuccessfully hooked my in a fishing accident and I replaced the hook with a half ring "Well?" I asked and pulled my messy and multi-toned hair up in a short pony tail, revealing a couple of piercings on my right ear cartilage and the tattoos on my forearms.

"WE are going to get you healed," he said, still observing the odd character.

"Ahh, isn't that cute," I mocked. "Just point me to a place I can get some food, a place to sleep, and a way back to where I'm from and I'll leave you alone."

He growled and picked me up, "I said, we. I don't let people who are hurt fend for themselves."

"I'm not hurt! Now, let me go!" I yelled and swung a swift right hook that earned my a broken hand. "AHHH! What the hell?"

"If you weren't before, now you are hurt…" he said, smirking.

"Just let me go and I won't kill you!" I screeched.

He chuckled, looking at my now in a controlled angle. I was a unique piece of work, whatever I was. He was almost hypnotized by trying to figure my out when he felt one of my Conversed feet push at his chest. "Can I help you?"

"Yeah, you can stop restraining me," I answered, laughed, and continued. "Ya know some are really into this but, em… I'm not that kind of maniac."

"What if I don't want to risk another near fatal blow like last time?" he asked me and smirked.

I glared and snarked, "Oh, ha ha!" I stretched myself out trying to get some give from his grasp, sighed, stopping for a few seconds and then returning to my effort, practically growling under the strain. "Lemme go!"

"Why should I?" he practically laughed, then dropped my as a flash of sliver shone across his line of sight. He found that I wasn't joking about the maniac comment. "What the…?"

"Hi, this is Timothy," I held my barber's blade aimed at his throat. "I wasn't joking about killing you."

"Hello, Timothy," he said. Something told him that even with a small and odd blade like that, I was deadly even to a powerful being like him."Now, I'm not going to hurt you. I told you, I just want to help you… "

I eased up a bit, still ready for any sneak attacks, but relaxed enough to answer calmly, "Benny Burton."

"I Burton?" he asked, looked at me, and then to my eyes again. "I'm Zelgadis Greywords."

"Zelgadis Greywords?" I asked and put away Timothy into his sheath on my hip, under my long black wool smoking jacket styled sweater. "And, you think Benny Burton is a weird name?"

"Well, around here, that's not a common name," Zelgadis admitted, turning an indigo on his cheeks.

"Well, I'm from your name is highly unusual," said I.

Zelgadis sized my up again, considering whether helping me would be a mistake or a blessing. "Where is that?"

"Chicago," I answered bluntly.

"Ah, never heard of it. That explains that… accent. Am I right?" he said.

"Well, no. Actually, that's because I'm Irish… well, half Irish…"

"What's an Irish?"

"A whole mess of insanity, temper, wit, and being bull-headed…"

"Oh? So, it's a group of traits? You can't have half-traits."

I sighed and covered my eyes, "This is going to be a long day."


	3. Chapter II

"So, do you guys drink milk?" I suddenly asked, after a long break from my last tangent of questions and rambling.

"Milk? Of course, we drink milk," answered Zelgadis.

"I mean from… cows?" I meekly added.

"From cows?" he inquired. "Why would we drink cow milk?"

"Well, back on earth, many of us drink cow's milk for calcium and various vitamins… plus, you use it in food. But, then again, it has its costs," I explained, finally walking in stride with Zelgadis.

"Cost?" he asked and prevented me from having to unnecessarily explain what cost is. "I know the concept of cost… trust me. I mean, what cost, other than monetary of course, are there?"

"Ah, well…" I softly spoke, paused to consider how to address the question and continued. "When does a mother produce milk?"

"When she has born her young, of course," he answered, patiently.

I nodded and looked into his eyes. I asked gently, "Do you really think we found another way to get females to milk?"

"Oh," Zelgadis sighed. "What happens to the calves?"

"Raised in pods, on artificial mothers…" drearily, I answered. A blank expression overcame my face, a light frown tainted my usually fluttering lips.

"They grow up strong on that?" he asked in disgusted awe.

"Think of it as a soulless foster parent," I softly murmured.

He nodded, thinking on it… comparing it to something like the chimera labs.

"May I do something probably bizarre for you?" I suddenly asked. I had already stopped, looking at him, waiting for his answer when he decided to stop also.

Zelgadis blinked , "Are you going to try to kill me again?"

"No," I said without humor nor disgrace." My amber eyes studied his beautiful deep azure. "It's a sign of affection and comfort for my people."

"Um, okay?" he uttered, his cheeks again marooning under his rock-strewn eye markings. _What? Is she going to lick my navel or something? This is the same girl who has a modified fish hook in her lip._

I hugged him close and whispered into one of his pointy ears, "Thank you, Mr. Greywords." My busted right hand resting up his back so as not to freak him out more.

At first, Zelgadis didn't know how to take this. He stiffened his posture, forcing me to be hugging a six-foot-tall boulder. When he realized that there wasn't more to the embrace than appreciation, he slowly accepted the hug.

I repeated again, as if in an undertone prayer, "Thank you, Zelgadis Greywords." I tightened my grasp and rested my cheek on his shoulder

He blushed lightly and sighed, "For what?"

"Saving me," I answered. I patted his back and started letting him go. But, he still held me close, his head on my shoulder. I patted his back again, smiling softly. "You don't get hugged often do you?"

He spoke into my shoulder, softly and simply, "Not really."

"They're free, ya know," I advised. "Just walk up and ask for one. 'Benny, I need a hug.'"

"In that 'accent' of yours?" he asked.

"Well, more in your own voice, it's easier that way," I answered. "You see…"

"Shut up and hug me again," he demanded. His ears pulled down and back.

"Yeth thir," I lisped and hugged him. "Any better?"

He nodded and let me go. "Thank you, Benny Burton."

"For?" I asked, as they continued on their walk.

"Saving an old child," he chuckled and bumped his shoulder into mine. He forgot his own power and weight, thus forcing me to tumble like the Scarecrow.

I chuckled, blushed, looking up at him as I scrambled to get back up, and asked, "Sorry?"

"No, that's a good thing," he assured her as he offered me a hand.

I giggled, accepted the hand, and clarified, "It isn't that way, you yank. We Irish say that as you may ask, 'Excuse me?'"

"Oh," he answered, paused for thought, and explained. "Well, I'm not the most… social being."

"I didn't realize!" I gasped in faux-shock in tone and expression… my fingerless gloved hands up to my gaping mouth and everything.

"Are you quite done?" he asked, slightly irritated. _Here I am actually opening up to someone. And, that someone plays it off as a joke…_

I shrugged, nudged her elbow gently (for my benefit) into his side, and admitted, grinning, "For now. And, by the way, I've been hearing your thoughts. You need to turn down the volume if you don't want me in your head. I mean, that'd be a scary place for me to be, right? Me frolicking around in there, running amuck…"

He glared at me for a few seconds, trying to find an indicator that I got how serious he was. Then, he continued with his explanation.

I only half listened to him while observing him nonchalantly, just studying my new ally. His dark abyss blue eyes were graced by eyestone outlines. His face showed that he was freckled by the darker stones against his grey-blue skin. He had excellent cheekbones that were also flattered by the eyestones. His nose was quaint and very pixie-like. His hair was pretty accurately described by my first thought as it was of what seemed to be of blue steel wire and seemed to have more of a will than her own hair, as it spurred out wildly as if he slept in it with hair spray still in.

"Are you even listening?" he asked, breaking my concentration on him so I would actually interact with what he had to say.

"No, but she's lucky, whoever she is," I offhandedly answered.

He blushed under those flattering eyestones and asked, "Who?"

"The girl you love. The meaning of your existence, other than your cruel past and even crueler obsession," I said, somehow still smiling. "She found a pretty and very… noble man. She's very lucky to have you."

"Do you always flatter strangers, Miss Burton?" he asked, his voice showing humor. "… because about two hours ago you tired to kill me."

"Oh, let that horse die already," I groaned. Zelgadis perked his ears and raised a brow. "I don't make a habit of flattering strangers, but when the rare and grand exceptions come along, I do honor them."

He gently chuckled and asked, "Is that so? Are there many 'rare and grand exceptions' back in your world?"

I shrugged, kicked at the dirt, and admitted, "Maybe a few."

"A few?' he smugly asked. "You're not too boy-crazy, are ya?" He paused as he realized that I really had been rubbing off on him and shook his head, still trying to deny that other people can actually influence him.

"Loved six men in my life, Zelgadis," I softly admitted. I counted them off on my scarred fingers on my left hand. "My brother, my childhood husband (It's a long story; don't ask.), the man who adopted me, the man who took me in as his own, the man who broke my heart, and the man who has been trying to sew said heart back together again. So, yeah, there are the rare and grand exceptions." With the last one I held up my right index finger.

Zelgadis in astonishment whispered barely louder than the ambiance surrounding us, "You really are the real deal."

"Oh yeah?" I inquired in the realm between tears of joy and a laugh, "Am I being told by another real deal?"

He laughed and elbowed me gently, "Oh, you know it."

We both laughed at the joke and continued our course.


	4. Chapter III

"You heard of that one person you can trust to stand by your side, no matter what?" I asked Zelgadis after a few quiet minutes. Okay, a few quiet minutes for him, but hella long time for yours insanely.

"Mhmm," Zelgadis simply answered. He was obviously still in thought.

"Have you found yours?" I asked, looking at him. "I mean, they exist right?"

"Yeah, they exist. I know a pair of those," he answered. His blue eyes met with my yellow-hazels and continued, "As for if I found my partner in that sense. No, I don't believe so."

"Damn," I whispered and shook my head. "I was hoping that at least you had. I need hope in something… hale, anything really. Kinda hard to keep faith within me, nowadays"

"Humanity isn't good enough for you," he said more than asked.

"That's such a strange concept to me anymore," I admitted, one hand wraps around the opposite arm as the walk. I walked slower in tempo with the sorrow I was feeling, eyes averted to the ground as I spoke dryly. "What is humanity, anyways? I mean, in its truest form… You see, of my group, I'm the purest of humans, but I'm not THAT human. You, Mr. Greywords, a forced chimera (Yes, I know you were forced.) Seem more human at times than what humans I'm around back home are. And, you of all people…" She pauses to laugh and explains, "My apologies, but all are equal until proven otherwise in my eyes. So, I choose to use the term 'people'. And, you of all people should know how the power of humanity can betray us. Humanity, ha! Give me a break. Humility, self reliance, and humane treatment to all whom show they deserve it… now those are traits I can stand by. If being human, the essence of being part of humanity, is to do the horrid and putrid things that we have seen, I rather be a lower soul. This is because even then I'd be a creature of more self control and respect to other life."

"From what I've seen… and heard, you've done an excellent job raising yourself for a good portion of your life, Miss Burton," Zelgadis informed me and pulled me closer as a group of thugs slinked by. He hooked arms with me and rested his chin on my head. He spoke loud enough so the ruffians would hear, "Come on, darling. Let's get you something to eat."

We posed as what would seem as lovers on a sunny stroll; just in case they wanted to mess with the freak._ In this case, I would probably be the odd one out._

_Don't be so sure, Benny._ Zelgadis corrected in thought.

Once they passed I warned him, "Don't call me Miss Burton again… I needn't the respect. Benny will suffice. You've proven yourself to be more than just an equal, Mr. Zelgadis."

"Oh, how is that?" he asked. His voice and eyes both hued with humor and humility.

"You didn't kill me with all of those times you could have," I began. "You didn't rape when you had the chance. So, unless you checked my pockets for some of your money and were brilliantly disappointed before I woke up, you haven't had the fancy to pick my pockets… So, again I thank you. It's not that often that a good looking guy who insists on helping me is actually someone I can trust anymore…."


	5. Chapter IV

Benny had her hood up and holding herself along her stomach. Zelgadis kept looking at her, wondering what was wrong and how he could help… so, of course, he asked, "What's wrong?"

"I'm fine…" she said automatically to him.

(Author cut in: He should know by now that you don't ask women, "What's wrong?". You have two types: The ones who start yelling at you for "assuming" that something is wrong. Those need chocolate and something for the pain… Then, you have the ones who deny that there is anything wrong… even though in their voices you can tell there is something wrong. So, you ask and they say their fine and you just want to kill someone or something to make them even smile as you keep looking at them as you pretend that you accepted their lie and are coloring in a Scooby-Doo coloring book, listening to Chevelle, on a bus on the way to Chicago. Oddly specific, I know. I don't wanna talk about it.)

"No, what is wrong?" Zelgadis said. He held her by are arms gently, staring into her eyes with intense concern.

"I haven't ate recently, is all…" admitted Benny in a forlorn tone.

"When's the last time you ate?" he asked in a tone that was scolding her.

"When I was last on Earth…" she admitted again in the same despondent tone.

"You should know better than to skip meals," he chided.

"I knooooow," she groaned. "I just got caught up in all this crap. And, it's not like I even have the money anyways. I'm in a different world, Mr. Greywords! It's not like I can stop by the nearest Walt-World and buy myself a friggin' bag of crisps!"

"Hey, don't get snippy with me just because you can't keep care of yourself," warned Zel.

"Oh, like I don't have room to give out about how I was sent to a foreign land by force without a full stomach or any preparations?" she argued.

Zelgadis sighed and rubbed his temples. This was going to be harder than he thought.

Benny started walking towards the direction they were heading and asked over her shoulder, "How far do we have until we get there anyway?"

Zelgadis looked at her, still in a mood to argue, and sarcastically asked, "What? Do you want me to carry you?"

Benny stopped and sized Zelgadis up, considering the offer.

"I wasn't serious," he declared, threatening with his eyes. "We're not that far, anyways."

"Look," she said and approached him still bent into herself. "Unless you can get me food now, you will eventually need to carry me if I'm supposed to stick with you from now and until I get back to home." She straightened herself to mostly so she could size up with him as she stood toe-to-toe with the chimera.

His ears folded back, hiding into his wiry hair. He didn't like her in this mood. Yes, she was shorter and both magically and physically weaker than Zelgadis, even on a great day. But, she seemed to be made for killing a certain part of him that made him evil to himself. "I'll get you food. Just… calm down."

She nodded and backed up. She wavered, shook her head, and continued in their direction. "Soon, right?" she asked and wavered again. She seemed to be a oddly dressed starving big cat. Too proud to accept the fact that she needs to eat, but keenly aware of the danger of famine.

"Benny," he sighed, looking at her.

"I know I'm pushy about it, but I really do need to eat…"

"Benny, come here," he said more sternly.

She sighed and shuffled over to him, looking at him almost in a dreamy state. "Hmm? Are we lost?'

"No, we're not lost," he said. "I'm taking you to a restaurant," he answered.

Benny feigned blushing and spoke in a thick Southern Belle accent, "I do declare, Mr. Greywords, you mustn't be so fresh. We just met!"

Zelgadis sighed again and said, "To get you food, Benny."

"But, I don't have any of you all's money to pay you back with…" she mumurmed. "And… And…" She paused to shake her head.

"You need food, Benny Burton," he chided. "Come, eat, keep me company while I drink tea." He chuckled and hooked arms with her. "You'll pay me back by enlightening me on what you know… surely that will kill some time."

"More time than you'd figure, Mr. Greywords," murmured Benny, unintentionally leaning into him every so often as they approach a wooden one-floor stout excuse of a building.

He smirked, "Let us find out." He lead her into the little restaurant. The totals of six small round wooden tables were more than apt enough to bear the size of the tiny room. A fireplace stood to the right with a pair of each of its sides. Four further spaced windows opposed it. The kitchen was way in the back. A pair of cherry wood, swinging doors constantly moved due to hustle and bustle. They let incomplete waves of noise and commands from the kitchen enter the dining hall. Zelgadis pulled down his half masked and smirked again.

"Lovely," groaned Benny under her breath. "We're never gonna get a seat here. Look, I can wait, Zelgadis. I really can…" She hid her hands into her hooded sweatshirt's sleeves until only her fingers showed.

"Riiiiight," he drawled. He snapped his fingers and a petite young waiter came up and looked at the two as if he was trying to figure out who was the scarier looking one. "Table for two, and we'll start off with a tea for me and some soup and wa—" Zelgadis began instructing.

"Tea also for me, please," Benny interjected softly.

The waiter looked confused at the hooded lass, "S—Ma'am?"

"Table, tea, and soup," nearly barked Zelgadis. "Do you think you can handle that?" he added in an irritated.  
"Zel," softly chided Benny and blushed as she realized what she did. She corrected quickly, "No need to be rude, Zelgadis."

He blushed faintly and turned to the incompetent waiter. "Look, this woman needs food and she's been through a lot today. I'd appreciate it if you make pace with her service."

The waiter swallowed hard and led them to a table next to a window. At the table next to them sat a mauve- haired man, dressed in black and yellow. His wooden staff lay propped against the near by corner. A glimmer hit the man's eye when he recognized Zelgadis.

"Looks like you have a fan, Zelgadis," Benny said near his pointy ear as they sat down. "Or do you know him?"

"That's Xellos. He's a monster," Zelgadis nonchalantly responded as he sat to Benny's right, facing the window, placing the purple-headed monster to his right.

"Are your monsters like my world's demons? Because I feel like I can't trust him," whispered Benny. "In fact, I want to kill him."

"Umm?' he thought out loud. "I don't think so… not exactly like yours. But, your instincts are right on the trust issue."

Both smiled warmly when their tea pot and cups arrived to the table. "Thank you," they simultaneously said. They even mirrored each other as they blew at the steam of their portion and test tasted the hot liquid. But, they contrasted each other when Zelgadis smiled and continued sipping his tea and Benny looked for sugar. "No sugar," she growled. She shrugged and was about to sip without the sweetener when a white porcelain bowl full of sugar cubes was suspended in front of her by a white gloved hand.

"One or two?" a cheery voice asked.

Benny looked up to find the monster from the neighboring corner table cheerfully looking down at her. "Is it poisoned?" she asked in full accent, forgetting where she is.

The monster got confused and Zelgadis answered, "No, that's not his way. If he wanted to kill you he would want a more… hands on approach. Right, Xellos?"

Xellos chortled and smiled, "Now, Mr. Zelgadis, why would do that? I don't even know her." He turned to her and opened his lavender eyes, "What *is* your name and what are…" He stopped talking and observed Benny dropping her eighth and ninth sugar cubes in, take up her spoon, stir it in the cup, take a sip, set down the spoon, smugly grin, and continue sipping on her hot sweet tea. "My aren't you unique."

"Mhmm," answered Zelgadis as he continued to sip on his plain tea.

"What's your name?" Xellos asked again, hoping to actually get an answer this time.

"Benny Burton," she answered in her Mid-West Americanized accent, and took another sip, smirking again. "So, a monster, eh?"

"Ah, I see Mr. Zelgadis has informed you," Xellos answered as he glanced at the chimera. Zel just lifted his tea up and nodded, smugly. "I see you're away from your usual troupe. Why is that? Did you get bored of the absurdity?"

Zelgadis' face instantly changed from humor to irritation in nothing flat. He was about to speak when Benny tartly spoke, "Beg your pardon, Mr. Xellos, but will you refrain from speaking in such a manner to my savior?' She held his ethereal gaze, her cup held to the table.

Xellos blinked at the eccentric stranger again. This was an interesting new feature to his usual venue. Who would have thought that someone would not give a hoot what he was? She treated him as if he were to be held to the same standard as all others.


	6. Chapter v

"I'm waiting for an answer," said Benny as a meat-based soup arrived. She didn't look at her food, her eyes were glued to the darkened lavender pair to her left. "Well?"

"My apologies, Mr. Zelgadis," Xellos signally said. "I didn't realize you had done a great deed today." He chuckled and pulled the chair beside Benny out, paused, turned to Zelgadis and asked, "May I join your table? I'll pay for what you oreder…" He looked at Benny and smiled, "That is if you, Miss Burton would be as kind as to let me be in your presence."

"Yes," she answered. "As long as, Mr. Greywords feels comfortable to have you at my left…"

Zelgadis hesitantly nodded and ordered a sandwich. Benny added, "a decent sweet". Xellos ordered more tea and suggested tat they bring whatever Zegadis and Benn wanted… or else. The waiter nodded and scurried off.

"You needn't to treat me different," she said gently. "I'm just human."

"Human with an eye on the future," corrected Xellos.

"Knowing what I will get for my birthday is not *that* much help," she said.

"Ah, but knowing how other events unfold would be very resourceful," he contorted. "Such as, the age you are celebrating in that vision could be five years ahead."

"I don't have visions, Mr. Xellos," she corrected. "It's as if an embellished version of mothers' instinct. I just know things."

"Oh?" chuckled Xellos. "Such as?"

"I shouldn't trust you," she gradually growling. "Not only does every cell of my being scream against you, but also I don't like your smarmy attitude."

Xellos laughed, "Oh my. You found a fiery one, Zelgadis… perhaps one challenging the gull of Lina… She's already better endowed in certain areas." He let his eyes trail along her body.

Benny stopped eating and glared "Either pay for the show or avert your eyes." Then, returned shuffing her face.

Xellos chuckled again, "Fiery indeed."

She stopped again and simply said, "Thank you, Mr. Xellos."

"My pleasure, Miss Burton," he answered warmly. He kept observing her with a grin.

"Must ou stare?" Zelgadis finally asked.

"Are we jealous?" inquired Xellos.

Zelgadis hid behind his sandwich and Benny answered, "Why should he be?" Her amber eyes meeting his. "He has a horrid wonderful girl. I'm just good company for now. A fleeting smile."


	7. Chapter VI

Xellos approached Benny as she was looking into the window of a dress shop. He chuckled warmly, "Hmm, hmm. Hello, Benny."

The half-Irish woman sighed and muttered, "Why am I not surprised?" She just shook her head and clicked her tongue. Her arms were crossed across a form-fitting black vest, black tie, and a white dress shirt. The sleeves of the shirt were rolled up to elbows. Her right wrist still wore those nine plastic bracelets and a claddaugh rested on her middle right finger. Her left wrist and hand was bare, save her tattoo around her wrist and a plain silver band with a ring of inlayed onyx was worn on her left middle finger.

"How indeed," he commented, looking closer at her. He found her interesting and pretty in her own way. This was more than the "fleeting smile" that she called herself. She was more long lasting.

"Not you, Mr. Xellos," she said, offhandedly. "They still over-charge for pieces of crap they call 'fashion'. And, I still can't afford whatever I actually like…." She stopped and laughed. Her eyes met his open lavender ones, "Mostly, because I'm broke here in your world." She turned and walked away from the shop, heading to the fountain in the town's circular center. There, Zelgadis told Benny to meet him. He was going introduce his "acquaintances" to her, and vice versa.

Xellos watched Benny for a few seconds, looked at the shop, and followed her until they walked in step. She walked briskly in the flat black canvas and white rubber shoes that made a light tapping sound on the cobblestone streets. "Do you always walk so vigorously, Benny?"

"When I'm on a mission, yes," she answered. "Are you getting out of breath, old man? I mean, you could just poof yourself there. But, no you decide to walk with little ol' me."

"You're not quite in the right to say you're small in stature," he said, nearly laughing. "You're as tall as Mr. Zelgadis. And, I dunno for your area, but that's fairly tall for a woman around here."

Benny thought on that. It was true, the average height of an American woman was about five feet and six inches. She was (what seemed to her) only four inches taller than that. In fact, Kat would make jokes of the difference in altitude. But, to Benny, she wasn't tall, she just had a four inch advantage. In fact, she fell short two inches of her childhood dream of being six feet tall. "I'm only five-ten," she answered, quizzically.

"What's that mean?" asked Xellos and then realized. "You measure in a different system. What do you measure in?"

"Inches, feet, miles," she answered. "The old English standard measurement system, you know? Oh, wait, you don't… Sorry, I forget I'm not in Kansas anymore… Well, my case, America, in general."

Xellos just blinked and smiled softly, "Pardon?"

"Nevermind," she groaned in her thick accent and continued in a more Americanized accent. "I'm not gonna be used to you all not getting what I'm saying."

Xellos looked at her as if to say, "Really?"

"Okay, okay. More than usual, better?"

"I'll accept those terms of that complaint," smugly spoke Xellos, as if he had defeated one more naïve being in the world.

"Ooh, score one for Team Xellos de Hellmaster," muttered Benny.

Xellos stopped them both and asked, "What?" His usually near lilac eyes now a dark deep plum.

"Yes, I do know of your creator, Xellos," answered Benny. "I'm accepting of the fact that you are a creation of another monster. I'm accepting that you are, in fact, a high level monster. But, I will not accept you being rude to my clairvoyance. Do you understand?"

The monster nodded slowly. He may out rank her, but something made him admire her. She was assertive, but also didn't overawe. As she walked by herself towards the hub of the wheel-shaped city, Xellos concluded that she was something worth researching.


	8. Chapter VII

As Benny approached the nearly two story tall fountain, she noticed a petite silhouette standing against the noon sun at the peak of the mountain of watery decoration. She tapped her concealed gun and knives, one of her most violently intentioned superstitions that she's kept dear for years. The bare fingers poking out of the fingerless glove that covered her hand played with the silver four-leaf clover charm her little brother gave her for her birthday when he was two. Her hand seemed to drift back down as her left hand floated to and held onto the upper part of her right arm, where Psalms 23 rested within her skin. Her ring finger rested above, "Your rod and Your Staff", an appropriate moment since she seems to be married to her weapons and guidance. These were here most peaceful of superstitions you'll find within Benny Burton. As her mother had said, "You have to make arrangements for your superstitions if you're going to be Irish Catholic."

"She's here!" called out the silhouette on the top tier of the fountain. Her voice was nearly squeaky and definitely was full of joy. Benny kept an eye on her as she seemed to bounce down the fountain to join Zelgadis with what looked like a long red-headed little girl and a tall… really tall blonde guy in blue armor. "She was easy to spot because she looks so different! And, her …" She was interrupted by Zelgadis' fingers around your mouth.

Zelgadis chuckled and softly said, "Hello again, Benny."

"Hey, Mr. Greywords," I greeted and continued to approach them.

He smiled and held a hand out. I smirked and handed him the money that he had given me for shopping. I hadn't spent anything since I had yet to earn any of it. He looked at the bag, looked at men, and glared. "I told you to get yourself some more clothing and food."

"I hadn't earned any of it, sir," I answered. "I'm not atoning for a sin I didn't commit." I turned and looked at the strangers. The silhouette was a small girl with bright blue eyes and black hair. I smiled and greeted her, "Hello, Amelia Wil Tesla Seyruun… Wait, did I say that right?

The all stared blankly at me and nodded. The blond spoke and smiled, "Oh! Do me next!"

"Inspector John? Really?" I asked.

He just blinked at me, not remembering a clue to what I referring to. "Don't worry about Gourry, he'll remember Wizer later."

"I see… You must be Lina Inverse," I said smiled. "I'm sorry that so many insult you. And, by the way, my sister has a dog with the same name as your sister."

Her eyes widened and she turned pale. "L-Luna?"

"Yeah, but our Luna is a lot nicer, a lot more resourceful, and she's a valued member of our family," I admitted and suddenly felt a tinge of homesickness.

Suddenly, I was picked up and hugged. "Can we keep her?" Gourry asked and gently swung me side to side.

"I'm not a rag doll, Gourry," I warned him.

"Watch it, Gourry, she's about as good as at swords and blades as you are," Zelgadis advised. "She nearly notched her blade on me. I highly doubt you'll have as good of luck as I did."

Gourry squeaked and dropped me like a hot potato. "Thanks…" I growled as I stood up. "Thanks a lot." He blushed lightly and pulled me back up, dusting my shoulders off, "Sorry, Miss Burton. I forget my own height and strength at times."

"I can see that, lad," I assured him and patted up to his shoulder.

"So, can we keep her?" he asked again, placing his large hands on my shoulders. He looked at Lina and Zelgadis as if they were his parents. "Please?"

Lina jumped up on the joke and continued, "I don't know Gourry. A woman from a strange dimension… Half of the time you can't understand her… And, she has a weird sense of what she calls style. That's a lot of responsibility and one more mouth to feed."

Zelgadis rolled his eyes, cleared his throat, and elbowed her lightly. It still sounded like it left a good bruise. "Benny is not an oddity to be kept as a pet. She just happens to be in our universe. And, we should treat her as a guest. Besides she's trying to find a way back to her home."

Behind me I could hear Gourry sigh and slouch down, the latter from pieces of his armor sliding against his shirt. His large hands slid off of my shoulders and he sat back down on the fountain. Lina stood beside him and patted his back. Even slouched and hitting on the low ledge of the fountains bottom tier and Lina standing up … in boots with heel in it.

They all decided that it was time to move on without much more of an introduction and away we went. I had no idea where I was, where I was going, or what I was supposed to do once we got there.

I was watching Amelia talking about anything and everything that came to her… well, I think it's a mind. Zelgadis was listening… or pretending to listen. And, Lina was bickering at poor Gourry. _Probably has issues with her height like Katherine does._

Behind me I heard an all too familiar chuckle, apparently hearing my thoughts. "Good to see you again, Xellos."

"You don't exactly SEE me do you, Benny?" he asked, still concealed in another dimension. _Talk about a dimension jumper._

"You know, at least you have a CHOICE on whether or not you are going to travel to a different dimesion and when," I said and crossed my arms.

"Oh, Benny, you hurt my feelings," apathetically clamed Xellos. "I was hoping we could be friends."

"I prefer to befriend the selfless, Xellos," I said. "It just wouldn't work out."

Finally, the Cheshire Cat of a monster appeared, smiling as usual. "Are you preemptively breaking up with me?"

"I see stopping the problem before it starts is the best solution," I said, not looking at him. "And, I do not care for you reading my thoughts."

"You read minds all the time," he argued. "Why shouldn't anyone read yours?"

"I don't read minds without permission," I laughed. "And, I divine information."

From the corner of my eye, I could see his mauve eyes studying me. He murmured softly, "You're divine, indeed."

"That better be meaning delightful," I warned him. "I'm in no way heavenly."

"Oh, perhaps to me, you are," he says as he slides in front of me, blocking the group from me. "You know, I have gone through less… pleasant things."

"Xellos, you are a less pleasant thing," I said as I tried to walk around him.

Again, he blocked my path and smiled, "Perhaps opposites attract, Benny."

"Look, get out of my way, okay?"

"No, I think I'm going to… how you say… stick to you like glue," he said and chuckled.

"Listen, glue. I'm remover," I said and walked passed him.

"You're light and I'm dark," he agreed. "But, I ask you to listen to me, glue remover. I promise not to hurt you or your friends. If I do, I'll let you take that lovely silver blade to my throat."

"Give me my path and keep your promise I will consider listening," I growled. By now, Zelgadis had noticed that I was not with the rest of the group and turned to see I was being confronted by Xellos. He started walking back to us.

Xellos chuckled and stepped aside. He held his arm crooked and raised it to me. "Benny."

I shrugged, accepted it and said, "Xellos." I started walking with him and saw Zelgadis was confused by the sight of glue and glue remover walking together. I smiled as we approached him and placed a hand on his cheek. "You okay, lad?"

"I'm fine…" he gave a suspicious glance at Xellos.

"Do not worry, Mr. Zelgadis," explained Xellos, as he chuckled. "Benny here has agreed to listen to me if I don't hurt any of you. She's such a lovely sight that I have to agree. Don't you?"

Zelgadis rolled his eyes and kept in instep with me. His eyes every so often looked over at the monster as we returned to the rest of the group. When he saw I was observing him he blushed and turned away.

Xellos, didn't care, he was talking about how he and I weren't that much different. Blah, blah, blah; yakity-yak; honk honk blarg.

"Mister Xellos, you mind if we discuss at a time where I'm not so distracted?" I asked sweetly.

He stopped in mid-stride, smiled, and answered, "Well, sure! I want you to really hear me out, Miss Bur- I mean, Benny. What I have to say is actually of some importance and I need your focus when I'm addressing the matter to you."

I kissed his cheek and smiled. "Thank you, good sir."

He cleared his throat, blushing lightly as he literally poofed up to the rest of the group, and he proceeded to make ruckus about the troupe. He didn't have to have the puff of smoke or mist… or whatever he conjured. But, he's does like theatrics at times.

"Why are you being so nice to him?" Zelgadis asked as soon as he knew we were safe to speak freely. "You claim to be a monster hunter from your world, and yet here you are being sweet and kind to that monster. I mean, you don't even treat **me**. That well and I **saved** you. I figured you'd be a least thankful, Benny."

"Are you gonna let me talk, or are you just going to get on your soapbox and just chew me out?" I argued back. I don't care if he's a cute blue guy, who has a beautiful voice and has wicked swordsman skill, that frigging hurt that he was so sure. "I'm being nice to him because no matter how charming, sweet, or cutesy he may act, he can still kill me at any moment without remorse. He is a demon after all."

"Benny…" he sighed. He shook his head, which always looks weird as his hair never really moves as much as it makes a soft rattling sound. He whispered. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize… I mean, I knew you were smart, but … I mean, even Gourry has his brilliant moments."

"He's a secret genius. Trust me. There has to be a decent amount of brains in that thick skull of his or else he wouldn't be able to be great at swordsmanship, right?"

"Do you always see the good in people?"

"Em… I try? I mean, I see both good and bad. I like the lad because he's just good. I mean he's like a Golden Retriever…"

Zelgadis stopped us both there and asked very curiously, "Golden Retriever?"

"It's a type of dog?" I asked, thrown off by the abrupt stop.

"Dog?"

"You seriously have no dogs?"

"Well, we have people whom are part dog," he explained. "But… Dogs? Like plain dogs?"

"Yes, plain dogs," I answered and rolled my eyes slightly. "Wait, part dog? You mean like weres?"

"Weres?"

"You know like, werewolves, weredogs, werecats… " I started listing off and stopped. "Oh, you really don't know… oh, wow."

"You have those too?" he asked.

"And, shape-shifters, yes."

"How… how do they work?"

"Well, few actually know. Some believe it's a spiritual slash magical thing that…"

"No, no. Not the werewolves or the shape-shifters. I mean, dogs… normal dogs."

"We breed them from domesticated wolves," I started. "I'm not sure about the Chihuahua, actually, but most other breeds are originally wolves. You see, some were bred for protection or herding. Others were for companionship. And, yet others still, were bred for hunting, rescue, etceteras."

"What was the Golden Retriever for?"

"Oh! That's a hunting dog. They have the softest mouth in the species and are often used as sight dogs."

"You know a lot about dogs…" he said softly.

"Actually, I don't know as much as my old best friend Lucia did," I said, blushing. "Oh, my gosh, Zelgadis, you think that _**I**_ talk a lot. You should try Luce, she'll talk about anyone's arm off, then apologize for ten minutes for doing so." I tried my best Lucia Hart impression. It was a higher pitch and faster speaking me… in a Brooklyn accent. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry about your arm. Are you gonna be okay? I mean, if you go to the hospital NOW you may be able to save it. I hope you can, seeing as that is your left arm and people whom lose their arm often times lose up to fifty percent of their dexterity."

"You're joking, right?"

"Unfortunately, no. I'm not joking. She really has that thick of a Brooklyn accent."

"Is Brooklyn another country?"

"The citizens there like to think so at times, but no," I admitted. "They're a part of a state called New York, that is part of the nation of United States of America. The U.S.A. is where I'm from. I lived in Brooklyn for ten years, then my family moved into Illinois near a city called Chicago."

"And, you sound like your Irish?"

"That's because my mom is an immigrant from Ireland," I explained and continued. "She was from a small town near the capital."

He nodded, just listening to me and asking a few questions. He was learning more than I expected anyone could learn from me. "What about you? Are you an United Statesian?"

"Em, we're called Americans," I answered.

"Ah, that sounds better," he admitted.

"And, yes, I am. I was born in Brooklyn."

"And, that's why you have that accent every so often…"

I sighed and nodded. I hated admitting to my father's side of the family. "Yeah, that is true."

He hugged me lightly and patted gingerly on my shoulder. "It's okay. Some of us have foul family."


	9. Chapter IIX

The troupe set up camp in a nice little site. Trees stood tall around us, giving a lovely protection screen and some climbing opportunities for Amelia and I. With some sheets and rope we made ourselves hammocks. My striped one was the closest to the ground, and even Gourry had to stretch up. Which he did, constantly… in fact, he was still looking into my hammock as we were starting supper.

"Lad, get away from my hammock!" I warned him. I watched him hop off of the rock and push it back beside Lina. He sat on it and started eating again.

"You really need to be more considerate, Mr. Gourry," chirped Amelia. "It is rude to snoop into others things."

"I was curious," he simply said as he chewed over his fish. He looked around, gnawing of the fish. Once in a while, he would look over at my hammock.

"Definitely a Golden Retriever," I murmured to Zegadis, who just chuckled in response over his tea. "He has a horrid curiosity, not always bright, larger than other breeds, and is a people pleaser."

"Oh, wow that's almost spot on," whispered Zel. "Okay, that's kinda spooky. What about Lina?"

"Oh, that's easy, she's an English Bulldog," I answered. "Always hungry, snores, stoutly built, powerful, and often times lazy and selfish."

"Amelia?"

"A black Labrador," I answered. "Black due to her hair, actually, and does she like water?"

"She likes to swim," he admitted under his cup.

I smirked, "Xellos is a Basenji. Quiet, sneaky, intelligent, and needs a bell on his collar."

He chuckled and asked, "And, what of I?"

"You're a mix between an Australian Sheppard and a Great Pyrenees, Saint Bernard, Burmese Mountain Dog… Some type of guardian breed," I answered. "Guiding, calm, loyal, and observant when necessary and yet, you can also have energy, use your strength, and survive some of the harshest of conditions."

"Uh, thank you?" he asked and sipped his tea nervously.

"You're welcome," I agreed. "Mutts tend to have better backgrounds, health, and personalities, in my experience."

"Well, what are you, then?"

"Bull Terrier and Bull Mastiff," I answered without hesitation. "Hyper, clever, comical, and full of spirit and yet a couch potato, I am." I laughed at my own joke with Zel and paused to sigh. I realized that if Katherine were there, she would have added to it with an old, "Emphasis on the couch potato." And, then the two of us would have had another odd couple argument. I looked at Zel and smiled, concluding he would've loved seeing my sister and me working together and interacting like we always did. Or any of my other friends would intrigue him. I watched him and I suddenly thought of my old friend Lucia Hart. His proper etiquette for some reason reminded me of the lass.

"What's wrong?" he asked. "Are you thinking about home again?"

"Well, yes and no," I softly admitted. "I was thinking about Lucia Hart. She turned up missing a few months ago and there's no trace of her since."

"Bad," he agreed. "Very bad, indeed. What made you think about her?"

"Tea."

"Tea made you think of your long-lost friend?"

"Well, you drinking it, actually," I added. "When I was able to be around her I was able to drink my favorite tea. She always kept Jasmine tea around because she knew I liked it, and she liked the smell… I hope she still can. Anyways, she always said I acted like a proper British woman when I drank my tea."

He chuckled, "And, that was bad?"

"Oh, a terrible insult, Zelgadis," I told him, smirking.

He smiled and insisted, "Continue." He leaned back on a rock and smirked, sipping on his tea. He was enjoying this too well.

"Lucia is a bit taller than Lucia's height, is super sweet, and… she has one the most dirty minds I've ever met despite her clean body," I said nonchalantly. "I mean, this is a girl who will follow any sentence that can ever be perverted with 'that's what she said'… unless it's a 'that's what he said' moment. But, she doesn't do it out of ill humor; she's really just a pervert. I'll never get that."

"You're really fond of her."

Even though it wasn't a question, I still answered, "I do."


End file.
